Thursday, April 15, 2010

Cancer, Chemo and What I Wore Part 4


Thank you, Charles M. Schulz

Stick a fork in me, I'm DONE!!!!!!

Yes, today was my fourth and final chemo session. I never thought I would be excited to go to chemo, which tells you how surreal this whole experience has been. Get yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (Raise one for me, will you? I'm still off booze for 3 weeks), this is going to be a long one...

First thing, of course, is what I wore. I finished hemming my Vogue 1089 at 8:00 this morning (my appointment was at 9:15). Here I am in it, avec pink wig and a pair of pink stiletto mules by Andrea Pfister. I wasn't able to find any new shoes I liked before my last session, so I went with these. They are nice shoes, but they are several years old, and they have been my go-to date night shoes in the spring and summer since I bought them. Date night around here usually means going into Boston. Going into Boston means walking on (and frequently falling in between) cobblestones, so the heels are more beat than I like, hence no closeups. For jewelry, I wore a necklace my husband gave me for our 15th anniversary.
Full makeup, and leg makeup (no stockings today).

I'll do a review on it later, but let me just say, this fabric was an absolute JOY to sew. It has a wonderful hand and it's just beautiful. It has a lot of stretch too, so you may want to go down in size a bit when working with this or its sister fabric. Like I say, more later.

Of course, for the first time ever, traffic was terrible, so I was late, but I called to let them know. When I got there, my doctor took me right in, did the usual workup and then brought me into the chemo room. Everyone was running in to see my wig and outfit, and all the patients were asking me where I got the wig. It really does bring a smile to everyone's face, including mine. Hookup and drip per usual, no problems. DH took a picture of me working entering orders.
 Have you ever seen anyone look so happy at chemotherapy?

I brought my Hermes scarf and hung it on the IV pole like a knight's battle standard. The staff was laughing every time they walked by. I also brought a huge box of Godiva chocolates for the staff. I think I got fave rave patient of the day. Everything was uneventful. In fact, I was finished about an hour before I expected. YAY!!!! Big shout out to Winchester Hospital's staff and the Medical Oncology staff at Montvale in Stoneham. As I said to them, "You guys made a sucky experience a whole lot less sucky." We were all giving each other hugs and kisses and high fives as I left. Here's hoping we blasted the little bastard into oblivion.

Some Thoughts and Helpful Hints (I hope)
It is my most fervent hope that none of my readers ever have to go through this, but if the unthinkable happens to you, there are a few things to keep in mind. I'll keep it on the light side:

The bad things about Chemotherapy
Well, the whole Cancer thing kind of really sucks
Your hair falls out. Adding insult to injury, in my case, only the non-gray fell out!
You keep asking, WTF? Like when they tell you
"You need to use barrier contraception while you're on chemo." (uh, what???)
"No salads, berries or raw food that can't be thoroughly washed and peeled"
"You shouldn't have manicures or pedicures" (that's a no-go in my world, sorry)

The good things about Chemotherapy - Believe it or not, there are some
Showers/morning prep take a lot less time.
You save a lot of money on razor blades.
You don't need to worry about bikini waxing.
Makeup application becomes easier - no worries about blending to the hairline.
You can change your hairstyle/color every day if you want.

A couple of things to keep in mind also to help you out if you do have to go through this. First, never feel like you're being a bother if you have questions. The doctors and nurses are there to help you. They want you to get better.  They want you to have the information you need to make an informed decision.

Second, try to find the humor and joy in these situations. It's there, and it will get you through the tough time. Silly things like pink wigs, "giving the big fangou to the big C", adopting songs like "It Sucks to be Me" as your theme song... things like that take the edge off, both for you and for those around you.

Third, allow yourself some self-pity. My friend Marilyn, who is coming up on her 6th anniversary, told me, "Give yourself 20 minutes a day or when you feel you need it. Then dust yourself off and get back to living." I found that spin class is a great time to indulge in a self-pity party. The lights are down low, and everyone is sweating so if you're crying it just looks like you're sweating heavily. Don't sob though. That's a dead giveaway.

Finally, lean on those around you. Larry, my husband, has been my rock and a godsend through this whole thing. My kids, family, neighbors and friends have all rallied around. Even getting little notes and emails from folks has been so helpful keeping my spirits up.  I couldn't do it without them (and you!). Take the help and support they offer. Of course, every time someone says, "Let me know what I can do to help." I say, "Well, my basement needs cleaning." The basement still needs cleaning. Sigh...

About Those Damned Pink Ribbons
I think if you ask any breast cancer patient, the vast majority will tell you the same thing. Forget the Pink Ribbon. Wear one if it makes you feel better, but buying something that has a pink ribbon on it? Don't bother. The amount of funds those things actually send to charities that need it is minuscule. And if you read the fine print, most of them say that they are sending a percentage to the charity after expenses, overhead, royalties and whatever are taken out. People slap pink ribbons on items for marketing purposes. I'm all for marketing services and products. But if you really want to make a difference, don't buy something because it has a pink ribbon on it. Write a check, large or small, to the breast cancer charity of your choice. They'll put that money directly to good use. All of it. And they won't have to wait the better part of a year, if ever, to get the moneys from the company. And besides, by sending a check directly to the charity, YOU get to take the tax deduction, not some fatcat.

Parting Shot: Freedom!!!!!
How I really feel today

Happy sewing!

77 comments:

amber said...

I'm so happy that you're done with chemo and that you finished it in kickass form, with that awesome dress and a very cool wig. You rock Ann!

Anonymous said...

Woo hoo on finishing chemo and doing it with such style - love that dress and wig!

Karen in Houston

Vicki said...

Great post! Glad you are past that chemo hurdle. You looked great (as usual).

Myra said...

Congrats and your dress is wonderful.

Heidi said...

CONGRATULATIONS! Here's to getting your hair back fast! And no more "little bastard". :)

(my word verification is "blestsc". kind of apropos...)

Edris said...

I'm glad you are done and you look fabulous today. Enjoy your freedom. Your attitude is inspiring.

Anonymous said...

Great attitude Ann! Oddly enough, your chemo posts always make me smile, and then by the end I am tearing up in recognition of how brave you are! Be free!!

Hugs,
Kristen

Ann Made Studio said...

You look amazing in this outfit.
I'm truly so happy for you that this is over. I wish you all the very best from here on in, and you have such an amazing personality.

Erica Bunker said...

Glad you're done with chemo! You look fabulous!

Embeedubya said...

I've seen your posts on Tom & Lorenzo, but "Last Chemo" caught my eye. I'm a 13-year survivor so I went to your blog. I remember my last one: Valentine's Day. But what a feeling. Love your mini-rant about the pink ribbons. My daughter and I have a running joke about it every time we find some new product "for the cure." My personal favorite was when my local supermarket was selling boneless chicken breasts for the cure. Currently, you can buy a bucket of KFC for the cure. Just kinda warms your heart and hardens your arteries at the same time.

okie2thfairy said...

Cool! I'm relieved for you. Glad you got the pink wig, it makes me smile even though I know you're not having a great time- sure fooled me;)

KID, MD said...

Congratulations. You are amazing.

CarlaF-in Atlanta said...

Yipeee, yipee!! I'm so happy for you and I love, love, love the pink wig.

Sew-4-Fun said...

Love your girly-girl dress with matching shoes, wig and smile. The smile says it all. :) Keeping you in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations to you, Ann! Love your attitude and your outfit - and the story that you have been writing the past months. You are an inspiration.
El

Sheila said...

Congrats on your last chemo session! Love the dress and the pink hair is perfect.

My mom finishes her chemo session next week and we will spend the day celebrating. Also she's looking forward to seeing the dentist, she didn't lose her hair but her teeth.

Pattern Junkie said...

Congratulations on finshing chemo!! And what an outfit to do it in!

Toby Wollin said...

I'm a really conservative person - in general, I dress in a really reserved way, dark colors, etc. But I've got to tell you - If I get BC, I'm going with the pink wig. Definitely pink (or maybe blue..no, purple..definitely purple...). Smooch and big hugs to you - keep 'em flyin' kid.

Karen said...

Wow, I love your style! All best, Karen

Anonymous said...

You are such an inspiring, strong lady. :)

AllisonC said...

Fantastic and inspiring post - I am curious about the manicure ban? You really look fantastic in this outfit - head to toe.

Elaray said...

You are an amazing inspiration. God bless you a million times!!

gwensews said...

Congratulations! I hope you are celebrating tonight. And, when your hair grows back, maybe now and then you will don that adorable pink wig, just for fun!

Shannon said...

You looked smashing today - the hot pink is a fab style statement for you!! Congrats on having the big bad chemo behind you. Now, to look forward to brighter days ahead....

Anonymous said...

LoveLoveLove the dress and I especially got a kick out of your last pic. Am sure you brought sunshine and a smile to everyone at the treatment center with your fabulous outfits and general cheeriness. Hooray on being finished!

~Barb

Little Hunting Creek said...

Your pink wig is like my dragon cane. If I have to have a cane to walk, I said that I want the coolest cane ever! I am so happy you're done with chemo - it's all better from now on. (beautiful dress, too)

NancyDaQ said...

God bless ya, gal!

I hope that's it for the cancer treatments and that you are all well now. Let's drink a toast in 3 weeks!

Gay McDonell said...

Great look! So happy and bright! Well Done - and poo poo to fatcats!

MushyWear said...

Way to stay strong, positive, and inspirational! Beautiful, vibrant, happy colors and style! As a former RN, I am glad you reminded others to ask questions. That is so important and your right as a patient! Thanks for sharing your story and may God keep you in good health!

cidell said...

You look amazing and are totally rocking that wig.

Melissa said...

Congratulations - you look awesome!!!!

Phyllis said...

Pink wigs are WAY better than pink ribbons! MMMWah!

Julie said...

Congrats! Did you do a happy dance? My husband did his happy dance in the waiting area and then hugged everyone in sight.

Debbie Cook said...

Way to go, Ann!

(Word verification: ousuc ... LOL! I think even the wv was telling cancer off!)

JoanneM said...

You look wonderful. Heartfelt congratulations Ann.

Lisa Laree said...

Lovin' that freedom picture...kinda says it all!

Nancy K said...

Congratulations! The wig looks great with that dress. You look fabulous!

Debra Martin said...

Ann, your pink wig pictures are a beacon of strength. I get teary eyed when I think of your attitude and grace under fire.

Jean S said...

love the wig, love the dress, love your spirit! yay to you!

and if I lived closer, I'd totally help on the basement....

Sue said...

You look fabulous and I am glad to hear the treatments are now behind you. All the best for the rest of your recovery.
The fabric looks beautiful but I wish you hadn't shown me the alternate colourway - now I want it!

Karen Minturn Brown said...

Wonderful! I can't think of any reason to retire the pink wig, though. It is VERY special, after all...

Opal said...

Congrats... I know the feeling of being free.. I have been down this road...love the outfit, your humor and your spirit.....way to go!!!!

Home's Jewels said...

You are one classy lady. You do the C word with courage, class, and dignity. Congrats on your final treatment! Go celebrate.

Linda T said...

Ann, I have said this before but I will say it again...You are a great inspiration for me and I am sure most others who read your Blog! I bet no one else has done chemo with such style and good humor. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Lordy, doesn't it feel good to be done! You did good and looked faboolus! Congratulations!

Maureen

Rose said...

Yaaay, Ann! You go, girl! :)

Rose in SV

Karin said...

A truly inspirational post. I am so impressed with your joy and creativity in the worst situations. I am glad that you are done with chemo and I hope that you have won the battle for good. Because you deserve it and because I am selfish. I want you fit and healthy and blogging away! Continuing to inspire me, teach me and make me smile.

Jenny said...

Congratulations on being all done!!! (Praying you are absolutely positively finished for good)

Kitty Couture said...

Woohoo, congrats on being done with the chemo! You look amazing - the pink wig looks fab on you. Sending continued good vibes from sunny Southern France, Ann!

LauraLo said...

Like Debbie said, I get tears in my eyes everytime I read one of your chemo posts. They are so full of light, energy and passion that they move me deeply! You are a very special person, Ann, if only I could give you a big big hug...

BetsyV said...

May I suggest a pink Sharpie to heal those heels? I have to use a black one on my patent leather date pumps all the time. The sidewalks in Boston are brutal on nice shoes.

And since I have 3 basements that need cleaning out, I can't in good conscience offer any assistance there ... Maybe we should all plan a joint "Basement Cleanout Day" ?

sula said...

Hurrah for finishing chemo and doing it in style. Onward & upward!

Gigi said...

Oh, Ann, what a feel-good post! I'm so happy this part of your treatment is over. Sending you a big hug and kiss! Mwa.

JustGail said...

Doing a happy dance in your honor. I hope I never need to go through this, but if I do, I hope to handle it with as much grace, courage, and "kiss my @ss cancer!" fierceiosity has you have shown.

What kind of leg makeup do you use? My legs are so pasty/veiny that I *hate* to wear shorts or dresses.

Kym said...

Congratulations to you! Leaving chemo is a great feeling. . . isn't it? And now -- on to -- the rest of your life! Welcome back from The Edge.

Unknown said...

Wow. You make me smile, and I'm so glad that you are finished with chemo. I continue to be inspired by your strength, perseverence, and sense of humor. Thank you for your continued honesty in your posts, another amazing quality that in the midst of this mess you are still doing what you can to help others. What a lady!!!

narcissaqtpie said...

That parting shot says it all! Thanks for sharing and keep serving up the inspiration & fashion.

Lani G. said...

Woohoo! All done!

I didn't have to do chemo, the double mastectomy and tamoxifen was enough. There are positives to DM's, too.

1. You don't have to wear a bra anymore.
2. You don't bounce when you run or ride your horse.
3. T-shirts actually fit right.
4. Most people don't seem to notice, so it's not that big a deal anyway.

Love the wig.

Lani

Angela said...

Congrats!! You look amazing as usual!

Kathryn, aka fzxdoc said...

You're beautiful, Ann. Stay healthy forevermore.

Kathryn

Kathryn, aka fzxdoc said...

I just posted, but it doesn't show. In ditto mode:

You're beautiful, Ann. May you stay healthy forevermore.

Kathryn

P.S. If this posts twice then take it as I mean what I say twice as much!

Claire S. said...

Congratulations on finishing the treatment - hopefully you blasted the little buggers into smithereens !

Beautiful dress & I do love that pink wig. You look fabulous !

Noile said...

Congratulations, Ann! What a great note to finish on; the dress is marvelous and your pink wig is the perfect accessory!

Summerset said...

Sorry for the late comment - yesterday was a long day, and I'm just getting to comments. You look fab, the pink shoes and wig are those last punches of color. Let's hope this is the last punch to cancer as well!

Anonymous said...

I'm very happy for you! You are so inspiring.

Steph said...

You're so inspiring, you leave me with tears in my eyes.

Linda L said...

I am so happy for you that the chemo is over. You have definitely handled it superbly. Love the new dress! Great advice you offered on how to deal with chemo.

Deb said...

Ann you have gone through this whole chemo process with such style and a sense of humour, and I thank you for sharing your journey with us. I am glad your chemo is over and I hope that you have sent to big 'C' packing. You truly are an inspiration.

Tany said...

I'm glad you are past chemo! And your outfit is DIVINE from head to toe! WOW!

Lydia said...

Just sent a nice check to a friend for the Indianapolis Race for a Cure. Keep the faith - we are with you.

Kat said...

Yes! This is great your chemo is done!! You are too funny about the pros of chemo. Especially the one about the lack of needing a bikini wax--my friend told me about that in January. We had a couple of good laughs about it.

You're rockin it, woman! I had to make head scarves for my friend because there was no way I was going to let her walk around with a towel wrapped around her head during the heat spell when the fleece hats would have been too hot. She picked out the fabric, and while they weren't fancy, they looked more sporty than the dark brown towel.

Let us know when your virtual party is ;) . We will all toast to many, many years of remission. We can all join you as you hold that first glass of wine in your hand in many months.

Elle said...

Excellent! What I want to know is, is there a place for wigs in your wardrobe even when your hair comes back in? My mother always wore wigs and looked super, even when her hair was -- whatever color it happened to be, come to think of it. Tres facionable.

MaryMary86 said...

LOVE the parting shot and was glad to read your comments about the pink ribbons. I always felt that way but felt badly for feeling that way - like maybe it was wrong. Thanks for saying it!!

Here's to your health!!!!!! You look so great!!

meredithp said...

That ensemble is the bomb! And thanks for the pink ribbon comments. I've never bought anything with it on, unless 100% proceeds going to the cause (my former employer was...ahem...a Major sponsor of Lee Denim Day. There was always nice SWAG for contributing. SWAG of course provided by said apparel company. ;-)

Who needs pink ribbons when you have that wig. Loved the pix and the fact that you attended that fabulous finale party of our favorite reality show!

Cennetta said...

Ann, It has been awhile since I've seriously visited your blog. But I must tell you, you are dynamite! I absolutely love your spirit and admire your tremendous courage. Not to mention, the hot pink wig and that dress are great!

Congratulations on finishing the chemo. God bless.

Cennetta

Unknown said...

I adore your wig!!! You look fabulous!!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Ann,

Awesome post. I am awaiting my core biopsy on June 25. I am visualizing healthy tissue but if it isn't I hope I can be as upbeat/courageous as you!!

Heather